I have a story for you that helped contribute to my social awkwardness.
All because I was really selfish as a little boy.
As I was working on further training ideas for The Confidence Mastermind upcoming group coaching group for men, I thought back to an experience I had when I was just four years old.
Now granted I was only 4, I can see how this bad experience I had was formative with how I interacted with people.
Because truthfully, I was kind of a little s%$t in this situation.
I was living in Whittier, California at that time (where I was born near LA) and I was over at my “grandparents” house.
I use grandparents in quotes, because they weren’t my actual grandparents, but an older couple that used to babysit me as a kid. But I sure did love them a lot like my grandparents and they treated me very, very well.
One day, I was in their backyard play with a syringe filled with water (no needle don’t worry) as my Dad came to pick me up.
I was there with the older couple, and at the same time their real grandson happened to come over too.
He was the nicest kid ever – and I was totally jealous of him.
These were MY grandparents after all.
So in being the nice little boy that he was, he went to grab me the syringe on the table before I left.
Know what I did?
I went back to the table, put it down on it, and then picked it up again to spite him.
Horrible, I know.
He cringed in disappointment and my Dad yelled out: “David! That’s not nice! Apologize for that!”
But I didn’t care, I was so jealous.
Then I saw the disappointment on the face of everyone including my so-called grandparents – and I felt really bad.
So I did. Even though I was still really jealous because they could NEVER be my real grandparents and I knew it, and I wanted them to be.
It was the beginning of my selfishness and shyness of being in a social situation where I deemed someone had more value or power than me.
Subtle, I know but I can see that’s how I used to put it all together.
Ever feel that kind of jealousy in your life?
Maybe with someone around you who is much more confident, successful and seems to have it all?
I know I have!
Those comparison thoughts that create jealousy still happen to me, but I nip them in the bud IMMEDIATELY because I know what they do to me.
But there’s really good news.
(Don’t cry for that little victim boy – I’m all better now and I forgive myself for being that way too – as you should for anything you did in the past.)
Though I could never be their grandson, you can shift your mind and behaviors to be the confident and successful guy you want to be – even if you are jealous or frustrated that you can’t be as successful as some other guy.
That’s the DIFFERENCE here.
But it’s up to you to do the work and take the action on it.
No one can do it for you.
