Bars.
Actually loud, busy bars.
I have never been a huge fan of them.
Or meeting people at them.
In general they are:
Noisy.
Stinky.
Often too much going on.
Easy to get overstimulated.
And yet, somehow they get revered as some kind of social mecca.
More like a socially tortuous dungeon to me!
OK…sometimes there are certain bars I like.
Classy bars are cool. Lounges.
Like this really cool wine bar near my house.
Or the “art bar” I went to this weekend with my friends.
Or a “speakeasy” style bar with classy drinks.
Hey – I’m a f#$King classy guy right?
(LOL).
But loud and rowdy bars or clubs… not my thing at all.
And it’s cool, because to be social, bars are the last place you have to go.
Unless you REALLY want to for some reason.
Don’t get me wrong, I know how to meet people at them and spent plenty of time learning how to do that because I wanted face the challenge.
I was able to go out alone, and meet people and stay connected to hang out again.
Or sometimes I’d be their new friend for the night and become part of their crew.
But in general, that’s sort of like a one night stand!
I don’t like meeting people once and never seeing them again.
If we connect that is. If I don’t connect with them I could care less.
This weekend I went out to a couple bars.
Honestly, I was trying to watch a livestream workshop about how state of mind affects business so I needed to be at home at 2am my time to watch it.
I went out to a bar before it and was so bored.
I was out with a few friends, but since I don’t drink too much anymore it just doesn’t interest me.
Better for me is a house party (chill) with friends.
Going out to dinner in a group.
Maybe a drink in the early evening at a classy bar near my house with a friend or a date.
But that’s it.
I’m on something called a ketogenic diet and cutting some “skinny fat” I have around my waist.
I can’t do that filling my belly fully of beer at some noisy stinking bar.
I have work to do, too. Important work.
Like the current group mentoring program I’m running, I told everyone on the call today I couldn’t wait for the call to start (the topic was all about dealing with High-Value People).
I can’t do that on a Sunday if I’m hungover.
That would suck.
I like helping people overcome their shyness and anxiety that are actually invested in their own success.
That’s VERY important, to be invested in your success.
So they can go to bars if they want to (or not), meet people at events like meetup groups.
Or have their own get-togethers, dinner or at-home parties and invite over friends they’ve made at work, through other friends or event, or even people they’ve met at the coffee shop.
All of this is possible to have.
It’s waiting for you, if you really want it.
But you have to want it, first.
I know it may not feel possible right now.
But I am sure of it. I have faith.
I’ve seen it happen enough not only in my own transformation, but certainly in the transformation in my one-on-one clients and course participants as well.
You can have:
**Friends that you connect well with, whether a few or more. (Yes this can be done from scratch.)
**Dates with the opposite sex that you are attracted to, and you don’t have to go to bars to meet them (hell no!).
**Strong relationships for years to come with people that have common interests as you, or maybe new interests that you haven’t explored.
**A truly confident state of mind where you can handle yourself like a social pro wherever you go, and not worry about how to behave. It will be natural.
**And a freaking whole lot more happiness and success on top of that. All this is easy when you know how to get the right state of mind (mindstate) and how to integrate the right social skillsets, too.
Then you can become a social dynamo, wherever you go.
Stinky bars or not. :)
Learn how to be a social dyna-pro, one-on-one with me:
https://socialexpression.net/coaching
I think it’s the fastest way to learn with the best support available.
-David
