authenticityLately I have been diving deep into what it means to be authentic.

I mean REALLY authentic.

I have been having my own personal battles with what it means to be truly authentic, and realize I haven’t been. I have been called forth by a trusted adviser and friend of mine, as well as calling myself forward into authenticity with some things I have been stuffing down underneath the surface.

What Have I Been Hiding?

Things I have been hiding (or think I’ve been hiding) from the world.

I have come to realize that I am the one that suffers the most, and no one really cares like I do. Or my ego does.

I have had to fess up to things like I am not making enough money with my coaching practice, and may have to get a job.

You see, I am president of a club of entrepreneurs, that are smart, talented and supportive. I was feeling very out of integrity by hiding this, repressing it and if felt like some kind of demon within was writing inside me.

So I decided to set that demon free, by not resisting my truth any longer.

So I announced it to the group the other day about my situation and I asked for help. I was scared and embarrassed, and I did it. They were hugely supportive, and many people were impacted because I was vulnerable and admitted my embarrassment to be the president of a group of entrepreneurs, many of whom are far more successful than me, and that I needed help.

It was very freeing, and if they are uncomfortable with having a president that is struggling to make his business work, so be it.

It wasn’t worth stuffing it down any longer.


Another Admission

Here’s another admission I have for you here:

I am truly afraid to be in a relationship, because I am afraid I will get hurt as I have in the past. I am afraid to be judged. So I don’t let a woman I am seeing, see the “real me.”

I put on a good and charming song and dance, already having ended it with her in my mind. I go on dates or hang out with women, but never even give it a chance to blossom into a relationship.

It is a huge form of self-sabotage that I have known in my head, but not willing to let my heart open up, and the cost has been great. But so is the lesson.

Freeing Up the Soul

All these fears I haven’t been willing to admit have made my soul wary and jaded, but it couldn’t have come at a better time.

Because I am authentically owning up to these things, telling those close to me about them, and even those not so close when appropriate, things are transforming very quickly.

It feels SO good to admit this. So I am admitting it here to you as well.

All of this confession feels like what my soul has been waiting for, even though it is scary as hell. I will say though, that it is far scarier in my mind, then after I speak my truth and face up to it.

I actually feel much freer than in a long time. I hate feeling jaded, and want to feel inspired again. And it’s working. It’s miraculous.

Authenticity = Confidence

I am learning that to be truly authentic I must be right where I am at, deeply acknowledge what I am feeling, without buying into the stories my mind tells me. I must speak my truth, at the very least, to myself…and to deeply acknowledge it.

To feel into the anger, sadness, hatred or whatever negative emotion shows up WITHOUT buying the stories my ego might bring up. Without the “why” and trying to rationalize it.

It adds icing to the cake when I admit to my friends as well, because I get to see what my relationships are made of, and how supportive people can be when you get really vulnerable and authentic.

If You Want to Get Confident, Fast

I am really glad this is happening now, because I am presenting a free webinar called “Rapid Social Confidence” next Sunday, October 27th  It will be my best webinar yet, hands down.

No, you don’t have to be this authentic to be social. But I think you are better off doing so in your social life. It will make things WAY easier. So in the webinar I will be talking about how to be authentic AND socially confident.

If you like what I have been saying here, sign up and don’t miss out. This is going to be some seriously good s%!T…and I say that with authentic confidence through my truth.

Because I am feeling freer than ever before, sharing all of this with you. I hope you will join me at the webinar.

    4 replies to "Why Authenticity Equals Confidence"

    • Chris

      The phrase I use to describe this is ‘being secure in your insecurities.’ I have a friend that inspires me toward this.

      It is true that I still have some insecurities, or issues in my life that I struggle with. Issues relating to my identity. Things I would like to be achieving, or succeeding at where I am not. Things I wished I had started when I was younger, but didn’t have the confidence.

      I personally find the way to deal with insecurities, and learn to have confidence with them, is firstly by putting pen to paper, writing the issues down, working out what is behind each issue, and any other thoughts that come to mind. The basically organising your own thoughts. By doing this it can make what you thought was a big issue seem much smaller and more manageable. Hopefully you will in time be able to tackle these issues, but it won’t be possible to do this overnight. But if you understand exactly what your insecurities are, or where you struggle with authenticity, that in my opinion is the half the battle for working through these issues.

      • David Hamilton

        I like that approach Chris, of writing of getting them out of one’s head and onto paper. It’s all about awareness in the end, isn’t it?

        It is where acceptance is key, to accept those things we thing are bad, ugly or we hate about ourselves. Right now, I’m not so happy with my physical shape. But I can accept that in this moment or reject it. The more I love/accept my belly, the more relaxed I feel. It also doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do something about it, but if I’m not going to do something about it, what’s the point of beating myself up for it? It creates a miserable experience for me, which radiates into my interactions.

    • Simon

      This is an awesome post. Authentic communication is something I’ve really been getting interested in lately. I’ve been practicing a bit of it too in the way I’ve been talking to people, mainly by coming forward with saying something that might be hard to say but needs to be said. I think authentic communication is definitely the right way to go.

      • David Hamilton

        Exactly Simon! So glad to hear you say this. Sometimes it comes out awkward, but better than, then not authentically communicating. The only way to refine it, is to keep doing it and learning as we go. Keep it up!

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