I have learned to overcome my social anxiety be social with the best of them, mainly because I had a strong desire to do so. I looked at social and extraverted people and said “if they can why can’t I?”
I spent years getting frustrated, pissed off and straight up resenting those who seemed to be naturally good at being social.
I was bitter.
Those Damn Extraverts?
Don’t you just hate those extraverts? They way they are so socially savvy, and get energy from being around people. Those jerks!
(Ahem. I was being sarcastic.)
Extraverts – they are not to blame, they are just being themselves.
Never blame an extravert for being an extravert.
It does you no good sending hate to others.
Because end of the day, when they are gone and you are still hating, guess who the person is that the hate affects the most.
You’re a Beautiful Introvert, So Don’t Change
Aside from NOT hating on extraverts, you need to accepting your introverted-ness. And you need to do it in a way, where you don’t elevate your self as better than or worse than, just uniquely different than.
Though I have learned to become a pretty savvy and social guy, one thing I can’t really change is my introversion.
There’s no reason to do that!
I have spent the last year (and then some) going out on my own at first, then going out more with friends, so spending a lot of my time networking to grow my business. I have honed and refined my social skills to a great level, even though there is still lots of learning to do.
But I need a break.
Making Time for Significant Downtime
It is not that I don’t make room for lots of downtime in my weekly schedule; I do because I have to, otherwise I will burn out.
I am talking about taking some significant time off for myself not pushing to meet more people because I need to “hole-up” and do some serious life redesign. Sure I will still be social, but not making the pushes I have been doing in the last year.
Why? Because my well-being has taken a toll from pushing a bit too hard in my life.
In fact, I am in a stage of learning big life redesign and transformation right now, so I need that time off.
In my Authentic Social Influence course I created and ran in conjunction with men’s dating coach Dr. Robert Glover, I talk about the cycle of what I call “social bursting.”
This means that we must schedule our time to go out and be social, but not forget to schedule in our downtime.
Otherwise we set ourselves up for failure, when our energy gets depleted, because we are trying to be an extravert and can’t do it.
Don’t do that to yourself, ever.
You probably can relate and have tried to push yourself too far right?
I would love to hear from you and your experience with this topic of pushing yourself to get out of the house, start conversations, and when you plan that necessary downtime.
Here are some questions to answer in the comments below:
What you make yourself get out of the house, in order to help yourself get through your social anxiety, do you make sure to plan in downtime?
If you can’t make it out of the house, what reasons does your “social anxiety mind” give you for not going out and interacting with people?
What life would be possible if you broke through your social anxiety?
Looking forward to your answers. If you are shy about leaving an answer, consider this a safe place to practice and share your experience.
I will be sure to get respond to every comment left here.