Why? Well now, I’m not talking about being a nut, like being insane.
OK – I AM insane probably because I look at things differently than most people, if we want to call that sanity, but I’d like to call it a “happy type of insanity.” :)
So last night I went out to a Christmas party at my Tai Chi school.
It was fun and I was quite social, no anxiety really, and I met several new people I hadn’t seen before.
I drank a fair bit of champagne punch that my Tai Chi teacher made for us, as it was his holiday party. It was a great time, and I even did a little “drunken tai chi” at the end.
After that, I went to a small music venue to see a great instrumental band called “Garage A Trois” with a good friend of mine.
The theater was about half full, and the music was really great – these guys are phenomenal musicians.
But I was noticing how I was getting a bit tired and fuzzy-brained. I also saw someone I don’t seem to get along with that well, and just didn’t want to deal with him.
I was making eye contact fine with people, and especially some women (I’m single) which is always nice.
But as the tiredness set in I could FEEL THE PRESSURE that I’ve always put on myself to meet women when out, which I’ve never been great at doing and struggled with for many years (even though I’ve had relationships and dated around plenty).
This is pretty much at the top of my behavioral hierarchy (from a CBT perspective), one I’m OK with sometimes, and other times not.
Everyone around was having fun at the concert, but I just wasn’t feeling it, I was feeling quite low energy, and closed in. Was it my social anxiety?
Perhaps a bit, and more so in the “opposite-sex-type-of-social-anxiety”, as I wasn’t feeling nervous around men or women I wasn’t attracted to per say.
But did I blame it on my former social anxiety disorder? Nope, not this time.
I’d been having some trouble sleeping lately, working out more, and also have to remember I am an introvert. Sometimes being around all the energy of lots of people is just too much.
I DID start drinking alcohol quite early and also had quite the intense workout earlier in the day, plus But I now know, that the social anxiety and introversion DON’T HAVE TO GO TOGETHER.
Sometimes you feel like a nut, and sometimes you don’t. Meaning as you make progress in overcoming social anxiety, sometimes your body will shut down, just like everyone does, even those without SA.
A tricky point in overcoming social anxiety that I often hit, is putting too much pressure on myself to perform, do well, and always be out and about, because there is something to “social momentum” I’ve found.
Introverts like me (and probably you) need are recharge time, but also I don’t think that’s an excuse not to go out and be social.
Have a great weekend everyone.