WARNING: this posting is provocative!
It has to do directly with your level of ego entrapment as related to your shyness or social phobia.
And I’m willing to have several unsubscribes happen to take the risk of waking you up to this fact, if you aren’t al
ready awake to it.
And guess what? I used to be in the same boat, and it was very painful to realize this fact.
So let’s see what happens…will stay, or will you go?
I just heard someone say this quote below on a webinar and I agree entirely. It will probably piss some of you off (or rather your ego). Others here will get exactly what he means.
“Shy people are some of the biggest ego-maniacs in the world. All they are doing is thinking about themselves and what others think of them. The narcissism is off the charts!”
Do you know how difficult it was for me to realize this, too? In my victim mindset it all made set. No one understood me, why couldn’t anyone see how hard I’m trying? Why won’t they come up and talk to me?
Little did I know how childish my behaviors were, by being a shy diminished version of myself.
You aren’t serving the world by staying stuck in your shyness.
Yes I have compassion for where you are, and what you have been through.
But this isn’t that kind of post. This is about kicking your ass in gear, and getting into action around sooner than later, so you can have the life you want, full of the friends and relationships you want. The career you want. The lover or spouse you want.
It all can be yours, but no one can do it for you, but you.
Are you tired of sitting at home on a Friday or Saturday night, wishing you had friends or girls to go out with?
Are you so sick of not being able to attract the kind of person you want to date or be in a relationship with?
If you want to start creating that new self that is confident and connects with other people well, everywhere you go, then sign up for the Dissolve Social Anxiety program.
It is here to support you on your path to be your best self, sooner rather than later.
I hear nothing but rave reviews from people who sign up and actually do the work.
(Click here to read what people are saying about working with the DSA program and/or with me.)
I never promise or claim it will be easy, but those who take fully responsibility for their healing and confidence building get all the best results.
Though having the right information helps greatly and can guide you more easily, those that succeed never depend on something outside of themselves to make results happen. They know the changes happen from within and based on the work they do.
It all starts, happens and ends with you. It will take work, it will be very tough at times, but it also will be really rewarding.
You can make this happen.
Sign up for the DSA program if you want to start making that leap to the new confident you, today.
4 replies to "Shy People Are the Most…"
So what…I don’t mind having an ego anymore. Shy ego or not shy ego who cares. Soon it will be over
Yes, I probably do have the ego problem — thinking too much of myself. But, I’m so SCARED!
“Shy people are some of the biggest ego-maniacs in the world. All they are doing is thinking about themselves and what others think of them. The narcissism is off the charts!”
Needless to say I think that is being a little harsh! First of all, I would say people who appear ‘shy’ can fall into two categories – although there are probably more and many variations on this.
Firstly some people are shy because, although they have some social intuition, they’re upbringing or bad experiences has resulted in diminished confidence and caused them to withdraw. For someone growing up with an overly critical father, who makes a big issue of small mistakes and rarely gives any encouragement, it is likely that a perfectly capable child would become more shy, more withdrawn, because they have become so accustomed to facing criticism every time they express themselves.
So really all of us have the potential to be shy. We all would be shy, at least for a time, if we grew up in an overly critical environment.
Secondly, some people appear ‘shy’ even though they may have good parents and a positive upbringing, because they actually have Asperger’s Syndrome. The difference between being shy, and being asperger’s is that shy people do naturally have social intuition, they just lack the confidence to express themselves. Whereas people with Asperger’s don’t have social intuition to start with, they don’t know how to socialise and communicate in a way that wins friends. However the result of asperger’s can easily become a downward spiral of more shyness, because a lack of social intuition results in social rejection that results in a loss of confidence. To prevent this from happening, we need to be able to teach social skills to people on the autistic spectrum in a way that they will understand and identify with.
The bottom line is that all of us, if we had the upbringing and background of a ‘shy’ person, would likely become shy adults.
Yes this was meant to be a “wake up” statement. I think both are true, not either or. Why shy happens is usually because of negative experiences early on, true. However at some point, ownership has to happen of the condition and the why doesn’t matter. Knowing the why doesn’t really help people move forward. Knowing the what and using different perspectives on the what is what usually cracks the code. What do think or do differently, rather than why. Focusing too much on the why tends to lead to a victim mind, people feeling sorry for themselves aka “I have social anxiety, so no wonder I can’t talk to people.” That very thought can keep people stuck for years or their entire life.
I was intentionally being provocative. Some people really like what I said. Others hated it. It’s just a certain perspective I use sometimes to wake people up, and it’s a provocative method for sure.