Do you remember when you were a baby?
Probably not, because you were just a baby!
But if you look at babies, they very often seem to have no sense of what’s confident or not confident, what’s the right behavior and the wrong behavior.
What’s shy or not shy, especially when they look at people around them.
That baby-like sense of wonderment and curiosity which generates confidence…
…Is still inside you.
It’s just been covered up by years of conditioning that perpetuate to the state of social anxiety that you are living in.
The state of social anxiety that you are “doing” constantly and unconsciously can be undone.
In working with people on this, I get to see their brilliance very clearly from my side of the conversation.
I get to uncover it, and I feel like a lucky duck for being able to be there and do it.
Sometimes, I swear all I have to do is make them see it.
But that’s the tricky part.
It’s simple but not easy, because they believe and embody so deeply that they are broken.
We can get into a story about not being good enough, saying they “should or shouldn’t do this” (Albert Ellis – Musterbation), and that they are broken and screwed up, and no one else feels this way.
I’m sorry but, it’s just not true, it’s just A story.
If I looked the people I coach as fundamentally broken and flawed, I’d be doing a great disservice to them, because I’d be holding the same story, and thus no shifts can occur.
I see them as whole human beings with brilliances and normal human imperfections and everything in between.
Just like me.
Human.
Beings.
I see them as people that hold a certain story about themselves and the world that generates an ongoing state of social anxiety.
So we work together to see what we can shift to get them to live the story they want to, a more interesting one where they can feel alive and vital again in their lives, without the cloud of social anxiety hanging over their heads.
Depending on how long you’ve been practicing your own version of your social anxiety story, will depend on how much work you have to do to dissolve it and uncover your own natural self-confidence.
More than that, it’s about how deep you are willing to go, and to what lengths you’re willing to honestly look at what you believe, do and think to keep social anxiety as the main focus in your life.
Self-confidence is NOT ABOUT BEING COOL, BTW.
It’s being expressive, open and sharing and everyone has their own version of it.
What’s something you do, that you don’t even hesitate to think about?
For me, I can pick up the guitar and effortlessly play through something and amaze people.
It’s also become starting conversations effortlessly pretty much any time I want.
I’ve been playing since I was a little boy.
It feels like I’m doing nothing, it feels effortless.
That is natural self-confidence. It doesn’t even have to be a talent that you have, though I’m very sure most everyone reading this has a very special talent where their natural self-confidence shines.
How about opening a door, or brushing your teeth, or doing the dishes?
I know there is something, one little thing even, that you can do that you don’t even think about at all. It’s also called being in the flow.
I don’t believe most people always feel in the flow when it comes to being social, even people without social anxiety.
They’re just not nearly as concerned about being perfect and judged as you are.
So trying to be perfect when being social is a death trap.
Trying to do and say the right thing, isn’t natural confidence. And if you aren’t practiced at it, it takes practice and persistence.
Quit trying to be perfect, cool or do the right thing. Go for what feels right in your gut, in your heart.
Express it. You won’t die, in fact you’ll live more.
Opportunity:
If you want to get a handle on this and move forward quickly, you can apply for a Breakthrough Session with me. I do a limited number of these depending on my schedule. It’s only if you really want to move forward though, because we work to get to the root of what’s stopping you, and towards the vision and path you want in life.
To Your Confidence & Success,
-David
P.S. It is NOT right for everyone, but if you feel that having me working with you to guide and side-by-side on a constant basis, giving you a step-by-step system to upgrade your confidence and life to get you to where you want to be, then apply here for a Breakthrough Session now.
