How much do you think about what you want
VS.
What you DON’T want out of life?
One thing I notice whenever I talk to someone who’s interested in coaching or joining one of my mastermind groups is this:
The ones who focus on what they don’t want are way more negative, unhappy, and miserable.
They have a longer way to go, especially if they don’t take some responsibility for their progress and go get some help.
No judgment here, just an observation after struggling through it myself and helping others for years now.
I get it…I used to deal with social anxiety and lived that way all the time.
Yes my mind still goes there, but I can redirect it like a mofo.
I’ve trained it, and I keep training it.
I don’t stop, and neither should you.
When I speak to a guy about confidence coaching I always start out asking “what do you want?”
And usually they’ll say one or two things that they want, and then it’s into…
“I don’t want to feel anxious and nervous.”
“I don’t want to look away when people look at me.”
“I don’t want to stumble over my words when I talk to a pretty girl.”
“I don’t want to be intimidated by my boss.”
And guess what your brain hears?
“I WANT to feel anxious and nervous.”
“I WANT to look away when people look at me.”
“I WANT to stumble over my words when I talk to a pretty girl.”
“I WANT to be intimidated by my boss.”
All of those experiences come from your own thought system within. Not from outside of you, even though it looks that way.
That’s a HUGE misunderstanding.
The brain doesn’t process don’ts very well, if at all especially when we are highly emotional about particular situations.
Unfortunately, that kind of thinking and speaking will only keep you stuck for years and years.
I’m sure you’ve noticed, right?
And it’s no fault of theirs, they don’t even realize it until I point it out.
No one has been there to help point this out, or has any idea of how the mind works.
Depending on the tone of voice of the person on the other end of line line, I can usually immediately tell if they are more of a “wanter” or a “don’t wanter”.
So I often explain upfront to the don’t wanter that they should focus on what they want and it might be tough because no one has been there to point that out.
And guess what?
Within seconds of me asking what they want it’s straight into what they don’t want.
Completely unconscious to it.
Brain circuits looping round and round.
So I point it out, and show them, then and there.
Some get it right away, others are a little slower to catch on.
But you see, the shyness and social anxiety you feel comes DIRECTLY from these thoughts you think are real, but are just thoughts.
And guess what?
It’s all changeable and it all starts with AWARENESS.
So start to notice this for yourself ASAP.
I’ll bet you’ll be astounded at how much you do it.
Just for one day, write down anytime you notice your mind going towards “but I don’t want this or I don’t want that.”
Make a note of it, as an observer.
The solution?
Gently shift the thought towards what you want. Watch your experience change
Let go of what you don’t want, let it pass.
Breath it out.
Let it GO, now.
Over and over again. Repetition and lots of it is required to reprogram your brain circuits and your mind pathways.
