So I have decided that not every post here needs to be some long, insightful, inspiring post. It slows me down from providing more contact and support here for you, if I always focus on writing an “amazing” post.
So I am going to start to send more inspirational snippets, a little more often. Don’t worry I won’t be inundating you too much.
It is a trap, I have realized.
Just like it is a trap to think you have to have big, huge social interactions each time you go out.
Sometimes, the smallest things can be the most impactful…
Doing just one, small thing each day.
In Japanese philosophy they call it Kai-zen. Which basically means incremental progress adds up over time.
(Just ask some of my former program participants, they will tell you.)
Here are some ideas for very small, but powerful ACTIONS you can take to overcome shyness and anxiety TODAY.
- Say “hi, how are you today” to a friendly-looking stranger, or someone at work you haven’t met yet.
- Smile at one person you normally wouldn’t.
- Give just one compliment to a barista or cash register person to brighten their day.
- Make eye contact with an attractive person and hold it for just one…two… seconds longer than you normally would.
Do just one small thing.
What one small thing will you do today?
This is where it all begins and continues. That is where progress is.
-David
P.S. I will soon be announcing a membership program that will give on-going live group coaching support with me at a very low-cost. I am very excited about it, and has a tremendous value for the cost. If you want to stay notified about it, go to this link to get on the pre-signup list.
8 replies to "How to Be More Social Today"
hi david,
i currently have been doing the dr. richards program for nine months now which i have made a lot of progress with. i still struggle with making conversation and when i try to start a conversation it’s usually garbage that comes out my mouth as i say the 1st thing that comes into my mouth. i want to improve my social skills, do you know any prgrams or give me some help on how i can improve?? i watched your vid on youtube on inner and outer skills of bein social. if you could help me out i would really appreciate it.. thank you
For many shy, introverted, or asperger’s people, becoming more social involves taking steps out of the comfort zone. Sometimes by immersing ourselves in books and motivational material, we think there’s so much we should be doing that it can feel just far too overwhelming.
These are all great points. For anyone that is still feeling nervous, I would suggest saying to yourself that you’ll do this one thing i.e. approach someone you normally wouldn’t “just for today.” That way you can always say to yourself (and to that person if necessary) that you’re just trying it out and this attitude can alleviate so much of the fear that builds up.
Of course, after the first time, repeating the same positive actions again tomorrow becomes easier, and easier as each day passes.
I agree Chris that information overload leads to overwhelm, which usually causes inaction.
Just learning one simple idea or concept and then applying it is where to most progress is usually made.
Thanks for your comment.
I’ll try everything else except eye contact, that one i admit might take time.
Gave myself a little pep talk this morning while getting ready for/talking myself out of going to this mommy meet up. “The feelings of regret and loneliness are way worse than these feelings of anxiety”.
So I took a deep breath, and just went.
Little steps are very important to making to those big ones for sure! Nice post =)
Whatever it takes Brezi! You have been one of my star clients, and I love that you never give up, and I admire your strength as a human being and a mom!
Your posts are very helpful and insightful. Thank you David!
You’re welcome Anita!