It’s hard when you have a few…
….maybe only one…
…or none even.
I empathize how tough that can be.
So what do you do?
How do you go from no friends to having tons of friends?
The truth is you don’t.
You can’t go from none to many.
That’s a really bad goal to set.
If you have very few or no friends there’s no way your mind can process that, and that’s the wrong place to focus.
It’s like living in a fantasy world and it feels like it, too.
You have to go from none…
One friend at a time.
Thinking about how you don’t have any friends, many friends, enough friends isn’t supportive thinking.
It will never get you there.
And sometimes it’s like it’s all you can think about…right?
Looping, looping, and looping…
Negative thoughts, LOOPING.
It’s like an insane asylum in your head.
But it feels like there’s no way out.
It’s pretty torturous being in that state.
But there is a way out.
It comes from TRULY understanding how your mind works.
It doesn’t have to do so much with believing the right thing, as having an understanding you live day in, day out.
A deep understanding in your emotional experience of total well-being and natural confidence.
Once you know how it’s easy.
The root of truth here is this:
It’s hard to make one friend if you can’t hardly one person, or stay in conversation.
We have to deal with the root of the issue which is the negative thinking that drives the shyness and anxiety.
Otherwise, the process will be hard and arduous, and painful.
Possibly for the rest of your life.
But you know that already.
Knowing how the mind works, and how anxiety (and confidence) is truly created from the inside-out is really the key here.
Then starting conversations is a breeze.
Conversational skills…easy peasy.
Being a social leader…MUCH easier when anxiety is deconstructed within your own psyche.
Asking out women, far easier when you know how to get control of your mind.
Everything is easier.
There is a deeper logic to how the psyche works, and most of mainstream psychology is completely clueless about this.
So many approaches focus on behavioral control, which is always an uphill battle.
Behavioral control is a terrible strategy long- term and words like “coping” are used.
Who the hell wants to cope for the rest of their life? Not me. That’s a strategy for failure in my mind.
Other approaches tout belief-change or to have the right mindset.
It’s an upgrade, but it’s still limiting, because all beliefs are limiting.
Plus what one person believes, may not work with you.
I’ve seen it over and over again for myself and others I’ve coached that this doesn’t always work.
So what’s the way?
Again, it’s something I’ve talked about before called state of mind, or mindstate.
This is knowing how to access the deep logic I’m talking about.
This is a “felt-logic” more than an intellectual logic. Actually it’s very easy to explain intellectually, but harder to experience…at least at first.
It’s a profound logic that once you start to see it, it becomes as easy as following your GPS.
Actually, it’s a GPS that’s already built-in.
That’s what most of psychology doesn’t realize.
And it’s OK that you just don’t know how to access it yet.
Why should you? You’ve been given the wrong information all along
So was I.
But not any longer.
Working one-on-one with me is the best way I know how to help you change your social anxiety into confidence from the inside-out.
No matter which route you go, that’s the only way it can be done.
The real transformation comes from within you.
To learn how your psyche really works and tune into your built-in natural confidence GPS, and defeat the social anxiety monster for good, check out:
Tomorrow’s a new day.