Waiting To Overcome Social Anxiety
We all procrastinate in our lives. All of us.
But it’s not about if we procrastinate…it is about WHERE we procrastinate.
When we procrastinate in the most impactful areas of our lives, we are losing out, big time.
The other day I came across this fantastic post from the Albert Ellis Institute called “Forever is Always Just Around the Corner“.
I really like how the Albert Ellis Institute ties in perfectionism as one root of procrastination.
As you probably have experienced, perfectionism is often a symptom of social anxiety.
This fear of “not getting it perfect or right” can cause you to freeze up or never act in social situations, to the point of avoiding them at all costs sometimes.
Basically, all procrastination comes from fear of the future (hello anxiety!), doing something that we deem to be too difficult or think we won’t be able to do it right, so we put it off “until tomorrow”.
It fits in so nicely to having social anxiety, doesn’t it?
So let’s talk about procrastinating or waiting to overcome social anxiety. Actually, instead, let me ask you some questions…
1) What’s your WORST social fear that you just dread even thinking about?
2) What’s your EASIEST social fear, that know you if you tried to make some progress on it, you probably would.
3) Do you wait to overcome social anxiety or procrastinate from SEEKING HELP at all – whether from a therapist, audio series or getting self-help books to support you?
4) Can you see OTHER AREAS IN YOUR LIFE besides your social life, that you are procrastinating too? If so what are they? How do they tie into your social fears?
Take out a piece of paper, right now, and answer the above questions. Respond on the comments below with your answers and I promise I will get back to you.
Be honest with yourself, to a fault, in answering the questions above.
Whether it was easy or difficult for you to answer the 4 questions above, there’s even a more important thing to ask yourself, right now.
You can stop procrastinating and take steps towards your active recovery today by signing up for the Dissolve Social Anxiety Home-Recovery Program here.
I suggest you don’t procrastinate on this one.
Leave any questions you have, or answers to the questions above in the comments below.
6 replies to "Procrastination: Wait To Overcome Social Anxiety…And You’ll Be Waiting Forever"
1)worst fear:I’m dread thinking about being somewhere full of people like in a classroom for example(where we have to see each other for a period of time)and sb would point it out loud how silent and invisible I am.it deeply makes me feel like I have officially lost my creditably as a person and I’m nothing then besides the fear of being alone and fall apart while others are easily connecting with each other.you know,it’s something usually for me to lost so Im fond of to sab else cut I couldn’t attract him/her to myself,it hurts but it’s true.
2)I think having practice on small talk would takes me somewhere,and decrease the fear of running out of things to say.
3)I’ve been seeking help from self help books,free resources and subs…do you think I can get better by applying things written in these free resources???that’s a question in my mind.
4)yepp like every one else I procrastinate in everything related to people like even having my own birthday party cut I’m afraid of not being able to make others feel like they’re haging fun.yeah it comes from perfectionism but it’s there,I even hesitate to taking courses where I don’t know anyone there,cuz I’ll probably be alone then.
1) im afraid that, i would be expressing my thoughts and when said out loud to people, sth completelty different came out of my mouth than i expected and wanted to. That is embarrasing and makes me think others see me as stupid. And the worst thing is my high expectation of my way of talking. I can be harsh on myself and compare myself to others that talk better than i do. As you said. We tend to be perfectionists.
I think how i talk defines everything. Level of my confidence while hanging out with people, feeling of being comfortable in my own skin and being relaxed. Its all connected to that:/…sigh
2) i think having lots of practice with talking would help me changing some beliefs.
3) different kinds of..right now, internet and different self help books and eft.
4) yes i do procrastinate with almost everything that is connected to people. Though once done i feel it was easy and simple. School , work, meeting my friends sometimes too, activities such as applying for sport activites, foreign langauges courses, everywhere i could meet new people.
It is definitly fear of rejection, fear of getting too close with somebody and then they would see my weirdness…but i think the root of all this is self shame :/….i ve noticed..why i have such difficulties opening up and talking about personal stuff. Cuz im ashamed of everything inside me….that sucks
(Im sorry i have written so much:/…the words just came out one after another)
Thank you for all David.
I hope all the best to you and to people here
Hanna
Thanks for writing and sharing so much Hanna. I know lots of people here can relate to your situation.
1. Being alone at a party or gathering where I don’t know anyone and have to interact with people who all know each other.
2. Interactions with cashier, salesman, waiter, etc. Not really small talk, just regular interactions when buying something, going to the bank, or ordering food.
3. I am reading from websites such as this one about social anxiety problems.
4. Yes I procrastinate with almost everything, especially school and work. I procrastinate when having to start a new project or even study or learn something. It is necessary that I am social in my job, since I am a musician. I find that this effects me all the time, when starting new things, talking to people, looking for jobs, and playing music in general with other musicians.
1-PUBLIC SPEAKING
2-TALKING TO OTHERS
3-NO I SEEK HELP BUT I AM QUITE LAZY.
4-YES,LIKE MARRIAGE,STARTING A NEW PROJECT,STARTING NEW ACTIVITIES,DOING SOME TASKS,…..MOST OF THESE ARE LINKED TO DEALING NEW PEOPLE,FEAR OF REJECTION.
1) Involuntary long stay in a group of women.
2) Small talk with men (neighbor, salesman, etc.).
3) No, I go to therapy, listen to podcasts, read books.
4) Yes. Work, self-promotion, emigration. Roots are the same – fear of evaluation, low self-esteem.