As social anxiety sufferers, we tend to be people-pleasers. We want  be liked.

So in doing that, not in all cases though, we’ll say less. We’ll hold our opinion in and hide so we don’t ruffle the feathers to generate any conflict or disagreement. And that behavior helps us to stay small, shy and it’s not very helpful.

Don’t blame it on being an introvert, that’s not an excuse because being an introvert has to do with how you recharge your energy, not whether you’re shy or not. I’m a serious introvert and people are surprised to know this because I have learned to be social.

When it comes to being nice, it’s a facade.

Trying to make people like you or the images of you. So people don’t think much yet, they put you on a limbo land instead of liking you or not liking you.

So what is being kind then?

Being kind is doing that what is right in your heart. That  you’re trying to project an image so you’ll appear nice and will avoid conflict.

Problem is, you also avoid engaging with people and standing out.

This isn’t unique only to social anxiety, there are plenty of people out there who want to look nice to get their way or manipulate maybe or they don’t have social anxiety.

Watch the video to hear me speaking about this topic of being nice vs. being kind in full.

After watching the video I’d love to hear your feedback and comments below for whatever thoughts you might have.


    3 replies to "Don’t Hide Behind “Nice”"

    • Nori

      In my opinion, being nice is not a mask, a facade. Being nice is feeling that you are forced to really be that way (polite, helpful, peaceful…). If you aren’t, you don’t deserve to be called a human being. Then, you make efforts to be really nice, even if it goes against your desires. You don’t fake, you want desperately to be nice; you only hide your desires.

      • David Hamilton

        Interesting viewpoint Nori, thanks for sharing.

    • Anonymous

      What if your attitude of being too nice has been going on for several years that it has become too difficult to get out of? I think it’s going to be a lot of work, but too overwhelming.

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