If you are like me, your mind has gone to some really dark places for a good part of your life.
I mean REALLY dark, deep pit of despair type of places.
Where you are caught in a downward spiral and can’t seem to find a way out.
Even if you get to the mouth of the downward spiral pool, you just can’t seem to break free of the darkness in your mind, which drives how you feel, and how you don’t feel capable of it.
I’m so grateful that it isn’t the norm any longer for me. But it didn’t happen in a vacuum.
It took time, money and work on my part to get to where I am today, and I’m still learning.
Look, I get it if you are struggling a lot right now or simply aren’t where you want to be in your confidence and life success.
It’s really OK to be wherever you are at.
AND my mind STILL goes there.
It says things like:
[+] Look at all the success John has, you’ll never be that successful
[+] Why didn’t that person respond well to that joke? What did I do wrong? Is my vibe bad? I need to fix this now!
[+] There’s so much to do, it’s overwhelming. How can I get everything done? What do I do next? I don’t know what to do….
[+] You’re 40 years old now and halfway through your life. What have you DONE actually?
[+] Why do I have such a struggle in being as successful as I want to be? Why can’t I be….
BLAH BLAH BLAH
Catching my drift here?
I know you have your own version of them, and they are probably all around your shyness and social anxiety.
But here’s the thing.
It doesn’t matter that much to me anymore if I have these thoughts.
It doesn’t even matter too much to me if I feel negative emotions, because I see them simply as a signal that something in my thinking is off.
And really it doesn’t mean that much.
Yes they still feel like crap, and I get caught up in them, but I’ve trained myself to pop-out and I have them less frequently than ever.
But that means the system is working perfectly telling me that I’m feeling bad because my thinking is off.
That’s why you should never run away from your negative emotions – they are a SIGNAL.
And these thoughts and emotions, even though they still happen don’t stop me from doing what I want to do. Again just signals, they don’t mean anything about me as a person.
Like just before writing this email I was feeling unmotivated and that I didn’t want to write it.
But then I realized this thought:
This might seem small and insignificant, but actually it is SUPER-POWERFUL though kind of subtle, too.
Because you can gain control over your thoughts, how you feel and your actions and therefore your life.
Yes, you reading this. You can do it.
I am talking to YOU.
Any thoughts you have of “Oh it’s different for me David” or “oh, it’s different for others with social phobia, I’m worse, is just a dark psychological trap of the mind.”
See it for the illusion it is!
If you want to beat this yes it may take time, but it may happen sooner than you think if you dedicate yourself.
It is work, but anything worth having in life is work.
The question is will you find a way to enjoy it (yes I literally mean to enjoy fighting your mind even) or just submit your ways of operating that don’t serve you, or you don’t even want to yield to?
Wherever you are at, it’s OK.
Just realize you always have a CHOICE, even if it looks like you don’t.
YOU DO.
You are the chooser and creator of your life, no matter how many negative, victimy or “I can’t do it” thoughts cross your mind.
The question is:
Do you want to?
Life ain’t stopping, so if you want to move forward – you can.
