I was really surprised when I received this email about someone UNSUBSCRIBING from Social Expression.
I felt my stomach drop as I read the first sentence.
As anyone that runs a blog knows, people unsubscribe for many reasons, but usually it is anonymous.
This time the subscriber decided to contact me to tell me why they were unsubscribing, and here’s what they said.
“Hi David,
I’m sending you this e-mail because I’m going to sign out from Social Expression.
Not because the free material didn’t help, but because it did help.
Pretty much since I’ve sent you the e-mail about me starting to understand certain things better, my situation has been improving at an amazing rate.
Friends actually started noticing and remarking that things have changed about me. I just don’t worry as much as I used to.
I came out of my shell, asked a girl out – for the first time in my life, at 20 years of age. (not that it lead to anything, but hey- it doesn’t hurt to try now my self-esteem doesn’t depend on ‘success’).
I stopped living in my thoughts. Now I’m considering going to university to study psychology, starting in September 2013.
I first saw your YouTube videos last summer, when my social fears were starting to escalate into something serious and crippling. Now I’m pretty much cured and I enjoy the company of others more and more all the time.
Sure: sometimes I’m tired, and I still allow myself to have a no-people day during some weekends. But I’m fine with that. Apparently I’m an introvert. :)
Thanks a lot for the stuff you put online, and good luck coaching those who need a little more personal guidance; you’re doing great work.
Cheers.”
Needless to say…I was really happy to get this email.
I will say I believe his case to be one of the rarer ones.
Can you recover from social anxiety all on your own? Clearly you can, as this guy has said.
But not everyone can recovery on this path…it’s not that easy for everyone, or most I would say.
And there’s nothing wrong with that. There’s nothing wrong at all to ask for help, or to get professional help.
Being a former sufferer of social phobia, I love working with people who are ready to take the next step, full responsibility for their situation (even though it’s not their fault for being there).
I’m very clear I’m not the mentor and coach for everyone, but for those committed to doing the work, I’m your 100% compassionate and committed advocate.
You see I want all my clients to get the best results possible, and if I just sat there and listened without compassionately challenging you to take a look at your beliefs and behaviors, then I’d just be some talk therapist who takes your money, and doesn’t help you change.
I’ll never be that kind of passive support, I don’t believe in it.
Will I challenge your perspectives?
You bet. Will I listen with care, most definitely.
I’ve been there and know what it feels like on the inside to be struggling with SA as you are.
The path is different for everyone, and whether you choose to do it on your own, with a group, with a therapist (hopefully one that has dealt with social anxiety before) or by working with an expert like me, I always wish you the best in whatever you choose.
It’s your life, your path and only you can decide what’s best for you, in the end.
