As human beings we are VERY susceptible to the herd mentality.
You know the idea, when grandma says:
“Show me who are the six people you most spend your time with, sonny boy, and I’ll tell you EXACTLY who you are.”
I think there really is something to that, especially when you are working towards overcoming social anxiety and shyness and we are susceptible to outside stimulus, and don’t have a strong core of self-belief to rely on, yet.
We need to be mindful of who we spend out time around because we mentally and emotionally absorb things and don’t even realize it.
Look at Jax Teller, the notorious hero of the show “Sons of Anarchy”.
He starts out the series as a fairly good-hearted kid who is very smart, smarter than everyone included the motorcycle club’s president, Clay Morrow.
Everyone loves Jax – the other members, women, little kids hell even the cops have an extra soft spot for Jax.
As time goes on, Jax sees how there is no life for him being a biker gang-banger. He marries Tara whom he has loved since he was in high school and they try to get out of the town of Charming, CA several times.
Jax continues to make promises to himself and Tara.
He says “trust me” over and over and over.
But in that sense, Jax is all talk and no real action.
Everytime I heard him say “trust me” later in the series I laughed because I knew it was a signal of bad things to come.
You start to see the pattern of how Jax has been making empty promises.
As bad-ass as Jax was, he didn’t have any integrity in doing what he said he so deeply wanted to do. Meaning he couldn’t hold to his word with Tara on getting out of town forever, with their two kids.
Most importantly, he couldn’t keep his word with HIMSELF.
Resonate at all here, brother?
Jax would make the excuse that it was because he “loved” his moto-club bretheren too much, they he couldn’t leave.
He even got close several times, but it was always something.
Jax was playing the victim.
But I also know it was because deep down he was scared. This tough, murderous biker guy was actually a coward. And he was too identified with being a biker.
He couldn’t transcend his ego, in that sense.
Just like it is easy to be overly-identified as a guy who is just:
“A shy guy”
“I have social anxiety, just who I am.”
“Oh, I’m an introvert so I hate small talk and can’t learn how.”
You KNOW what I mean.
Jax didn’t have the balls to leave it all behind, included his so called brothers who lived this totally screwed up existence.
Hey, we are all guilty of doing that, including and especially me.
So we have to sack up and keep going, while being loving and compassionate with ourselves when we fall down off the path of progress and being the men we want to be.
If you want to keep being one of the socially awkward people or “Sons of Anxiety” then keep saying to yourself you’ll do it one day.
OR you can start doing something about it NOW, and get the hell out of Anxiety Town.
How? You can:
- Read and apply everything from books on your Kindle or shelf
- Sign up for a course, and actually do the work in it, not just listen passively
- Hire a therapist or coach (or both)
- Go back to your old books/courses and do the work
- Set goals in life and take action on them
- Get out of the house, no matter what it takes, no matter if you talk to people or not (process over results)
(Insert thing you want to do, but make excuses not to here)
I get it, times can be really tough when you are shy
and anxious all the time. Been there, done that.
We all fall back and slide off.
But overall, are you moving forward or staying stuck?
If stuck, how much longer you gonna be like Jax?
You don’t have to wait, you can make the decision to move forward in a real, tangible way.
Speaking of that…
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