“David, is there a cure for social anxiety?”
Really I do, because I get to give you the straight dope on what I think about it.
I say yes, but of course there are conditions.
Even though I “cured” it the remedy for the cure also depends on how you define the problem initially.
I also like to say no, because if we approach it as trying to cure it, it makes it more difficult.
Focusing on the cure, makes it harder because the focus remains on the social anxiety, instead of transferring most of the attention on your life, which naturally removes the focused attention you’ve been placing on your social anxiety.
I fundamentally don’t believe people with social anxiety are broken or sick.
I think they have a condition fueled by a certain set of beliefs that live in the mind, emotions and body (all are connected) of the individual.
I believe that re-framing social anxiety in a more non-judgmental way, actually helps the recovery itself and gets you away from this “I’m broken thinking”.
We simply need to retrain to a different set of beliefs that serve that individual.
Yes it’s more simple, than easy because the network of social anxiety beliefs (aka social anxiety “narrative” or “story”) has been reinforced over and over within you.
Is your mind now saying “yeah, he’s right I shouldn’t even try.”
Well if it is, that would be your social anxiety belief system trying to keep you where you are at.
Don’t listen to that mental garbage, please.
Because you are much bigger than your beliefs, and though it’s hard (at first) it gets easier and easier.
But there is one big, huge caveat of course.
No matter what information or exercises I give you (and I give you all I’ve got, believe me) – you have to commit and DO THE WORK to cure your social anxiety. There is simply, no easy way around that.
One of my students, let’s call him Tim, gave me permission to tell this next little story.
Tim is enrolled in what’s now called the Rapid Results Program of the Dissolve Social Anxiety system. On one of our coaching calls, he said something so brilliant, that I asked him permission to share it with you guys.
Tim’s been one of the best students, doing the homework, and responding to my feedback with even more questions and effort. He’s even been redoing the homework when he feels he didn’t approach it right, to make sure he really nails down the approach.
On our call, Tim said that he’s been going through the lessons, doing the work but something was holding him back.
Tim came to a BIG realization at about the 5th lesson of the program.
“You know I realized that with each lesson that comes, I was expecting it would be the magic pill where I’d finally get over my social anxiety. But then I realized, that wasn’t going to happen and I had to practice.”
Hearing this blew my mind, because that’s exactly what I try to communicate over and over….and over to people, even in my free videos and articles.
You have to keep up consistent practice to make any substantial progress.
To beat this social anxiety garbage, we have to approach it from all sides. Though the methodology is sound and solid in the DSA program, it’s absolutely not a cookie-cutter approach to solving your social anxiety problem.
For lack of a better term, we attempt to attack social anxiety from all sides, so in the end, we can beat it.
There are going to be things that work really well for you in the program. There are going to be some things that don’t.
We’re all different and have different preferences and learning styles.
That’s why I give you as much as I can, but also try to guide you to find WHAT WORKS FOR YOU.
Thanks again Tim, for the seemingly obvious, but actually a brilliant insight. When someone realizes this deep down to their core, that’s a BIG deal.
It just adds more fuel to the fire to overcome social anxiety, which is what’s needed to keep picking yourself back up when it knocks you down, to not give up, and to get control of your life again.
Even though I give my 100% in guiding you as a social anxiety coach and mentor, there’s just no way I can make the commitment (and continued recomitment to recovery) for you, let alone do the work.
No matter what approach you use, whether it’s the DSA program, going to a therapist or a social anxiety recovery group, it’s up to you in the end. It would be easier if it were different, but it’s not.
I believe you can beat social anxiety.
But if you don’t want to face your demons, dig deep, and fully commit to the recovery process and commit to the doing the work, nothing can really happen, I’m sorry to say.
It will be painful, it will be a struggle. It may very well just come down to, feel more pain now, so that the suffering can end, later.
As always, the choice is up to you my friends.