It’s a common question I get often from single guys about how to overcome shyness with girls.
This shyness is very much an extension of social anxiety.
If you fully accepted yourself, liked/loved yourself, focused on being curious about her, and getting to know her, knowing that you already have a lot to offer…instead of “how to get her” then you’d have no problem at all.
No techniques or tricks required. It’s almost like talking to guys or your guy friends, with a slight sexual undertone.
Actually most of it becomes non-verbal and “vibe” based. But if you don’t have the proper mindset/outlook this is very hard to do.
It’s that simple. Really.
What’s not simple is learning how to deal with the negative thoughts and feelings that are generating the fear, shyness and social anxiety with girls you are experiencing.
I’ve seen and even done some of that pickup stuff with all these techniques and ways to try to manipulate a girl into liking you.
While some things do work here and there, they never address the real issue…which is your thinking you need a technique to get a girl to like you.
Unfortunately, this is wrongheaded.
You need to focus within and deal with your own fear and poor self-image, which is primarily where all this stems from.
You see if you were comfortable in yourself, then if a girl was rude to you, and you were just being friendly and saying “Hi, how’s it going?”, then you think “what’s wrong with her” rather than “what’s wrong with me”.
While there are certain social graces and etiquette and ways to be socially smooth, that’s only the icing on the cake. Because when you accept who you are, and act in spite of your fear, you give off a vibe that you don’t really care what other people think.
That’s not to say you don’t care about other people, you do, you just realize that whatever they think about you has far more to do with them, than it does you.
See my point?
I’m also willing to bet you have attention on being judged by others around you, so you’re not really confident around them either.
It’s likely you also have a false confidence, because you can be confident around girls you aren’t attracted to (you know the “why do the girls that I like never like me, but the girls that like me, I never like? syndrome).
Or you’re confident around guys you don’t find threatening, but not guys that you deem “alpha”.
Even, then you might begin “faking it” around them, but you do not make strong eye contact, have wide and open posture, and speaking confidently.
Am I striking a chord here?
Having shyness with girls is really another form of social anxiety. I talk about what to do to get over social anxiety and discover how to overcome shyness with girls in my free ebook “10 Keys to Social Anxiety Recovery“.
The SocialExpression.NET online recovery program simply entitled “Dissolve Social Anxiety” – addresses what is really at the root of social anxiety and shyness with girls (and shyness around any people really).
It’s 12 weeks of information packed lessons with experiential exercises, and full email support.
No pickup stuff, no socially awkward weird “routines” only genuine, cutting edge, proven training techniques that are extremely powerful in dissolving social anxiety and shyness at the root.
Where you can discover how to be authentically you while developing your own self confidence and social skills.
Find out more about Dissolve Social Anxiety program that teaches you how to overcome shyness with girls (and people in general) – click here.