Every single one of you is here for that, right?
I am sure by now you can tell, it isn’t an easy path when extreme shyness and anxiety have filled your world for so long.
So the question becomes…how committed are you to doing whatever it takes. I am actually not talking about doing what it takes to be confident, that’s a side effect.
I am talking about doing what it takes to LIVE THE LIFE YOU WANT.
By doing that, confidence takes care of itself.
(This is a huge part of the approach in my DSA Social Confidence System.)
I even have to use an approach of saying “screw it” to my fears, when doing something new that stretches my comfort zone. Like when I was asked to be president of my entrepreneur’s club. I was nervous but once I saw it as a great opportunity to speak and facilitate in front of 24 sharp business people, I decided to go for what I wanted.
I am no different than you fundamentally. It’s just that I have unlocked some keys to how this all works, and I still have to keep applying them. Though things are better than they’ve ever been, I’m human just like you.
Anyone who is human (with or without SA) has to face their fears in order to grow.
I know I will have fears to face again…and again…and again.
It is part of the game if you want to live an amazing life for yourself, of your own doing, without shyness and anxiety holding you back.
The power is within you.
Pure, Unadulterated Commitment
Pure commitment…and re-commitment to the path of not letting social anxiety rule your life.
Are you committed enough to go for 6 months to live the life you want?
What about a year? Five? Even Ten years or more?
It is time to let go of the notion of being perfect, and having confidence before living how you want to live.
Time to let of waiting for confidence before:
- Going out of the house by yourself
- Saying “hi, how’s your day” to the barista at the coffee shop
- Asking a question about where someone’s from to get to know them better
- To ask your boss for a raise, because you know you deserve it
- To get on an online dating site, and send messages to people you find attractive
What Would You Do If?
Here is a provocative question I love to ask my clients:
“What would you do, how would you live your life if you knew for certain that you would NEVER overcome this?”
This might seem like a strange question, but actually it gets to an important point.
Let’s say you become a paraplegic (and maybe some people on here are).
That means you can’t use your legs.
How would you live your life? Would you live sitting in a room feeling sorry for yourself? Or would you experience the world the best that you could?
Have you ever heard of Sean Stephenson? He might as well be paraplegic. He has a type of bone disease that makes his bones brittle. He has broken bones over 200 TIMES in his life since a child.
Sean lives his life the way he wants, in spite of his condition.
He’s even married to a beautiful woman, who’s totally healthy and physically “normal.”
Sean is incredibly inspiring, and if he didn’t have this condition, he would be such an amazing spokesperson for going beyond your limits, and he has a massive limit that he has overcome.
That’s why they call him the “fragile giant.”
Sean has worked HARD on becoming a great public speaker, and it shows.
(Click on the image above to watch Sean’s amazing talk at a TEDx event – or click here to watch.)
I know some of you will get the message I’m conveying here. I know Sean will impact many of you like he has me.
Others of you will be so caught up in egoic thinking with thoughts like “of course, he gets attention and special treatment because of his condition. Nobody notices me.”
You might even resent Sean and the fact that he has confidence and can speak in front of people very well.
Some thoughts might even come across your mind like “I wish I had that kind of condition then I’d get attention like that.”
Those are some fucked up thoughts aren’t they? Ask me how I know, because I used to have victimizing thoughts just like those.
Don’t listen to those negative thoughts when they come, and they will come. They are LIES of the egoic mind.
Did you know that it is perfectly OK to have the thoughts, because you can’t control them when they happen.
What you have to do is to NOT BELIEVE them to be true, because they are not true!
They are just part of your social anxiety mindset, and think of them just as a noisy wind passing through.
How committed are you to overcoming your anxiety and shyness?
Will you do what it takes to accept that with or without it, you can choose to live your life the want you want it?
Make the choice. Commit to living the life you want, whether the anxiety monster is there or not.
He’s only as powerful as you listen to his roar. He can roar all he likes, but if you pay no mind, he has no power.
P.S. If you want to use more of this kind of approach, of learning how to be more committed to your life, and have that propel you forward faster than ever, sign up for the Dissolve Social Anxiety program.
This program has helped many people with new tools to step out of their comfort zone and start living the life they want.